How Can I Help My Shy Child?

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My child is shy” is a phrase you repeat frequently, casually, justifying your child’s reclusiveness in school and everywhere else.

But shyness is not a condition children are born with. Instead, it may be the result of certain conditions that keep them from leaving their shell and venturing out into the world.

  • The first thing you can do for your child as a mother is to stop repeating the phrase “My child is shy” in front of people, or in any situation forcing them to turn inwards or even take refuge in your arms. That puts the shy child more and more in the spotlight and pushes them further away.
  • You do not want your child to grow up with this label attached to them wherever they go because it will have a severe negative impact. Shyness is not something your child is born with like the colour of their eyes, their hair or their shape; they can get rid of the root causes of shyness if their family shows dedication and compassion towards them.
  • Try to explore activities that relax them and help them share. Express your confidence in them constantly; you will love them “no matter what”.
  • Don’t stop encouraging them in front of their companions. And don’t worry if they are afraid to take part in social activities. Ask for help from their teachers at school to encourage them to go out into the world.
  • It is very important not to give in to their refusal to leave the house or play with their companions because then they will think that the outside world is not safe and that they are “in the right” regarding their reclusiveness and fear.
  • The shy child is a child who is unsure of their ability to go confidently towards other people and helpless to meet companions in their world. Always let them see you smiling and relaxed when they are at home because they will draw confidence and strength from their daily life with you and their father.
  • Do not coddle a shy child too much, or they will begin to believe that they are weak and in need of support. Constantly repeat phrases like “I know you’ll succeed” or “You can try”, rather than “Why are you so shy?”

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